My New BFF

Today was my weigh in day and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I lost 2 pounds since my last weigh in. (which is a total of 4 pounds) It wasn't all that easy. I felt like most of the days I chose to eat well, but over the weekend I munched a little more than I should have. I am proud to say that I did do well on the consistency of my workouts. (which, if you know me, is very close to a miracle)

Since that time, i've come across a new best (online) friend! If you haven't checked out My Fitness Pal you need to stop reading this and click on over there! (when you're there, 'friend' me! kelhchap) Don't get stressed, it's not all about exercise. It's like a facebook for individuals who want to change their lifestyle by loosing weight and exercising more. You can link it up to twitter or facebook if you desire and get the app for your iphone or android. The best part about this site? IT'S FREE!

As you probably know and as I am continuing to learn, accountability is key in this journey and the free, online program is one additional way to stay accountable. Check it out! Let me know if you join and i'd love to be virtual accountability partners:)

My Resistance Muscle

I just finished reading chapter 2 in Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure book. There were two points that stood out to me.

1. Resistance Muscle
2. Why?

When I was younger, I remember adults commenting on how disciplined I was in different areas of my life. When I got old enough to understand what they were saying, I was proud of that. Then somewhere around college, my discipline started to waver. Not in all areas of my life, mainly in food. I went to food for comfort, pleasure, friendship and many other reasons. My discipline went down the drain. As Candace would say, my resistance muscle became dormant.(pg. 14) I never though of resistance as a muscle before. It's something I need to train. It needs to be used daily. Today I have made the decision to get my resistance muscle back in shape and use it daily.

In the book, Candace shares ways to strengthen my resistance muscle. I've added some things I do in regards to these great tips.

• Passing on the junk food aisle in the grocery store. ( I try to go after I have had a healthy meal so I'm not hungry. I also do my best to stay on the outside perimeter of the store. That's where the fresh food and healthier food is i've found.)
  
• Making a healthy choice when eating out.(I look up the menu online before I go somewhere. Most restaurants have the calories and fat listed. If you want an "all inclusive" list of restaurants go to Dotties Weight Loss Zone.)
  
• Passing on the goodies at group meetings.(I bring something to a meeting that I know I can eat and share without feeling guilty about eating it.)
  
• Taking one trip to a buffet instead of two or more.(I try to avoid buffets, but if I do go to one, I always start with a large salad. I find this gets me full faster and I tend to eat a smaller portion of other foods.)
  
• Eating until you're satisfied rather than stuffed. (I weigh my foods or pre-package them in zip locks so I know exactly how much i'm putting into my body. Also, wait 20 minutes before getting seconds or adding something else. You'll be surprised at the loss of hunger after that amount of time.)
  
• Limiting treats to once or twice a week rather than daily.(Look for low fat, sugar free options as well. I agree on this one!)
  

The second point that stood out in this chapter was the question "Why?". Why do I desire to change my ways and loose weight? I had to think about it for a moment. Of course, I want to wear cute clothes and feel more comfortable in my skin. But in all honesty, I want to do this because this lifestyle has been controlling me for too long. It has become a sinful way of living in my opinion and I don't want it any more. I want to live my life freely in Jesus and this is the area that I need to work on. That is why!

Over the next 65 days, I desire to loose weight, grow in my personal relationship with Christ and develop healthier eating and exercise habits. What about you?

I Failed

Take a look at the date of this post. Now check out the date of my very first post. look at the year....yep, it's been over a year and I failed. I just re-read the very first post of this blog and thought to myself, how the heck did I let myself 'fall off the bandwagon' again! I should be so upset and frustrated (which I kind of am) but the thing I am proud of right now is that I can answer that question. I can actually answer why I have failed over and over and over again at loosing weight and changing my eating and exercise habits.

I have been, for the past 12 years, trying to fight this gluttony battle on my own. Yes, I've had my family encourage me and friends do their best to support me, but it's not their problem so at times their accountability wavers. The only way I can live a healthy life is with the help of Jesus.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached a message that many would view as uncomfortable. (I did) But it's necessary. The series topic is "Hidden Desires". The sermon was called "Secret Shame". You can only guess that my mind went to my eating habits. That is my secret shame. Pastor Chilly made a comment, "To have a healthy ministry, I must have a healthy life." That hit me hard. I work in ministry, yet I don't have a healthy personal life when it comes to diet and exercise. I want to though.

What am I doing about it. (notice I didn't say 'going to do' about it) Yep! I already started on April 26, 2011. I have joined a gym, signed up (and paid extra) for a kick butt class 2x per week and am counting my calories. But what got me super excited is i've joined a ladies small group at my new church home. They are forgiving, understanding and honest. I have, in small ways, mentioned my desire to loose weight and exercise and I think I have found a group of ladies who will be an encouragement to me as I journey through this.

Then to top all of that, I came across a Candace Cameron Bure's facebook page for "Reshaping it All". It looks so good! Then I read that they are doing a 65 day challenge. From a Christian Perspective!!!!! That's where Jesus comes in! Only HE can change the way i'm living my life. So I may have failed over and over again, but with Jesus I WON'T FAIL!

I'm looking forward to this 65 day journey. I encourage you to join me if you'd like and pray for me as I become the woman God has called me to be.

Getting into a Rhythm

I am starting to feel the rhythm of the eating well. Note that I didn't just say "eating", we all know that too well i'm sure. What I mean is that I'm constantly looking for good recipes on line or in magazines and filing them away for the near future. Every Sunday, I pull them out and decide what my meals will be for the week. This helps so much. I try to use what is already in my cupboard or fridge. (this saves money and time) But if I have to run to the store for a couple of things, no big deal. (just make sure you don't go to the grocery store hungry! Trust me, you'll buy things you shouldn't) Also, if there are things that you can make that are good to freeze or store for left overs, do it! Sometimes I'll make something for dinner and have the left overs for lunch the next day.

Tracking what I eat each day is still something that I do and will probably always do since I see how much it is helping. I weighed in at Weight Watchers tonight and lost 2.6 pounds. I'm at a total of 9 pounds in 3 weeks. I'm very excited! But I know what looms in the future...exercise. I'm really skimping on that right now and I know that I will get to a point where I have to exercise. That is my biggest problem. Doing it. Putting on the tennis shoes and just walking down to the basement to start. I am going to exercise when I wake up in the morning. (I'll let you know how that goes).

TV Munchies vs. TV Crunches

This week has been a stronger week for me. I have tracked my eating every day and I know that it is bringing to light how much I ate just 3 weeks ago! I HIGHLY recommend writing down everything you eat each day. Do it before the end of the day too because by then you could have downed a lot of stuff that adds up and you may not even know it!

The one thing that I still haven't done well with is exercise. I know, I know, I have a tv and dvd player now that is dedicated to my exercise videos. It's getting fat just sitting there...So I blew up my exercise ball and brought it into my bedroom where my tv is. I have decided that this upcoming week, instead of munching on food while I watch tv, I will do crunches on my ball during the advertisements. So, the ball is sitting, waiting by the side of my bed for me to use it. I will start tonight. I have to or I never will. Plus the Winter Olympics start tonight so it's a good way to watch them. Maybe those extremely talented athletes will motivate me:)

Superbowl Success!!

I had a very busy week last week and an even crazier weekend with friends visiting and the superbowl of course! I stayed on track with my eating this past week. Then the weekend came. I was determined NOT to mess up and go all bingey with the friends and parties. So, I opened up my Weight Watchers Magazine that has some amazing recipes in it and made a wonderful, spicy spinach cheese dip that you can eat with baked tortilla chips. Everyone like it (and I didn't tell them it was low fat)! I was very proud of myself.

I still am having a very difficult time finding time and motivation to exercise. I think in my head the night before that i'll get up early and when the alarm goes off. I roll back over and sleep my way through the exercise time. I hate myself by the end of the day for not doing it in the morning because by night time, I have NO energy to exercise and talk myself out of it:( Any suggestions? One neat thing that happened this week though was that my parents knew I wanted to start exercising but needed a tv to hook up to my dvd player so I could dust off those old workout dvd's and get going. Well, they went on craigslist and surprised me with a great tv and stand! So, my plan is to come home from work tomorrow afternoon and do one of my dvd's. I'll let ya know!

The most encouraging thing happened for me tonight. I weighed in at the WW meeting and had lost 6.4 pounds! I was actually amazed. It was over a 2 week time! So that is motivating me to exercise because I tell myself how much more I could loose if I were exercising regularly!

It's a New Week!

I am very pleased with my actions today.
EXERCISE......
It was so bitterly cold outside I wasn't about to walk outside, so I drove to the mall and walked for 30 minutes. If you use the excuse that you can't walk because of the weather, remember GO TO THE MALL. Plus, I see it as an additional motivator because as a female who loves to shop, I can do my "window shopping" while i'm walking and the time flies by. Just make sure you look ahead every so often so you don't plow people down!
EATING......
I stuck with the Weight Watchers plan today. I was actually left with 5 points and wasn't hungry. I know you are suppose to eat the exact points a day, but oh well..i'll try and do better with that tomorrow.
EDUCATION.......
I went to the WW meeting with my mom tonight. SHE lost 3 pounds! I stayed the same. I have to admit, I was upset. It took me about half of the meeting to get over the fact that I didn't loose any weight, but I got over it and didn't run to food to satisfy my emotional state.

So, as the evening comes to a close, i'm looking at a very busy work day tomorrow and potential tempting options...to hopefully kick the temptation in the behind, I have already decided what I will eat tomorrow and that I will exercise as soon as I get up. I guess you'll have to hear if I do it tomorrow. I challenge you to the same thing. Until tomorrow....

Online Support

I just finished signing up for the free weight loss program online called SparkPeople. I had heard about the site a few years ago from a friend who raved about it. I never really checked it out. So, tonight I took about an hour and well, we will see! There are some cool feature that give you fitness workouts you can print for the week as well as a lot of good recipes. The biggest plus is that it is a community of individuals who are all wanting to loose weight and live a healthier life. I'm looking forward to finding that accountability. I'll let ya know if it's worth my "online time" or not!

Going Public

I'm sick and tired of it. It consumes my thoughts, my actions, my reactions. It controls me. When I think I found my victory in the day or even the moment, it throws a cheap shot my way and I cower and give in.

IT is my weight.
I haven't always been this heavy. Growing up, I was a very active child who ate very healthy thanks to my parents. As I got a little older, I gained a little weight and by 10th grade I was a size 12. But for my 5'8'', large bone build, it was a good size and weight "according to the doctor". All of my friends were shorter and weighed less than me. I never once thought I was thin. Today, looking at those high school pictures, i'd give anything to look that way again. It was in college where I let myself go. If you went to college then you know.......the college cafeteria. I never knew before that time that you could get "all you could eat" in the meal plan or get "all you can drink" from the soda machines. It was fun and I was in control. Or so I thought.

Now, I am 31 years old, single, and very unhappy on the inside. My friends and family would probably be shocked to hear those previous words I just typed. "unhappy on the inside". I have heard them describe me as a "funny, loving, caring, hard-working person". I would agree, but because of my weight I rarely feel "confidant, secure, at peace" on the inside. What do you do when someone wants to take a group picture? I'm a little taller, so I say that I should stand in the back(to hide my body), stick my neck out like a turtle so my fat doesn't show (as much) and smile big. I have tried EVERYTHING. Weight Watchers, Medical Weight Loss Clinic, Grapefruit diet, Cabbage soup diet, eat less diet, prescription drugs for weight loss. Some of those things worked..for only a period of time. Then I'd go back to my bad habits and let my emotions eat.

At this point, you are probably asking yourself, why the heck am I still reading this depressing woman's story? I would be asking myself that too. But here's what I've decided to do. I need you're help though. I have decided to be completely 100% honest on this blog about my daily struggles and victories as I journey through my next year. My goal is to loose weight. I can't say how much because I want to do it right this time. I know I need to loose a lot. So here's the deal. I joined Weight Watchers 1 week ago, last Monday. I followed the plan 2 days out of the 7 day week. That really sucks, right? Tonight as I was sitting in bed watching t.v., I said to myself "this is it". If i'm going to change, i'm going to change! I'm going to exercise and eat right. I will be posting recipes that are good for weight loss and don't taste like cardboard. Try them and let me know what you think. I'll let you know what kind of exercising i'm doing. Give me your comments, ideas and help keep me accountable. In turn, I will do the same.
Tomorrow starts the new me. New attitude, new initiative, new focus. Do you need that? Start with me!
The thing is, when I push the "publish" button..this is it. It's for good and in "cyber space" forever. I can't take it back. Don't let me. I'm going public. I want the weight to be OVER!

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