Happy Mother's Day!

Today I continued to build my resistance muscle by fighting my urge to take a "break" from exercise because it was Mother's Day. I had no excuse in all honesty. I'm not a mom (yet) and my own mom lives out of state. So with a little encouragement from the Holy Spirit, I headed to the gym after church and got on that elliptical. When I was done, it felt good. My resistance muscle is starting to bulk up!

On another note, I wanted to share some thoughts from the sermon today. If you'd like to hear Pastor Chilly's sermon podcast click here. The topic was very sensitive and not what you'd expect on a "Mother's Day" Sunday, but it was needed and Christ centered. The points that Pastor Chilly gave stood out to me as something I can apply to my life where food is involved. His main points were:

1. Make a pact with your eyes.
2. Smash sinful thoughts.
3. Run from all temptation.

1. Make a pact with your eyes. We all know the saying "my eyes were bigger than my stomach". But I think that if we let our eyes eat whatever we see, our stomach will be bigger than our eyes. We need self control. (a fruit of the Spirit-Galatians 5:22-23) Don't let your eyes be in control of what you eat.

2. Smash sinful thoughts. Food is not going to fill any void. Only the Holy Spirit will fill the void in your heart. Don't feel sorry for yourself when you "deny" yourself food you think you deserve. Keep Christ at the forefront of your mind and actions.

3. Run from all temptations. Plan ahead when it comes to eating and cooking and grocery shopping. Don't let those grocery aisles get the best of you. As God for strength as you push that cart right past those cookies. If you don't purchase the junk at the store, you have eliminated so much temptation in your home.

Although these sermon points were focused on a totally different topic, the Lord used them to speak to me in a different way and I'll be holding to them!

I hope you had a GREAT Mother's Day and got in some good exercise as well!

My Resistance Muscle

I just finished reading chapter 2 in Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure book. There were two points that stood out to me.

1. Resistance Muscle
2. Why?

When I was younger, I remember adults commenting on how disciplined I was in different areas of my life. When I got old enough to understand what they were saying, I was proud of that. Then somewhere around college, my discipline started to waver. Not in all areas of my life, mainly in food. I went to food for comfort, pleasure, friendship and many other reasons. My discipline went down the drain. As Candace would say, my resistance muscle became dormant.(pg. 14) I never though of resistance as a muscle before. It's something I need to train. It needs to be used daily. Today I have made the decision to get my resistance muscle back in shape and use it daily.

In the book, Candace shares ways to strengthen my resistance muscle. I've added some things I do in regards to these great tips.

• Passing on the junk food aisle in the grocery store. ( I try to go after I have had a healthy meal so I'm not hungry. I also do my best to stay on the outside perimeter of the store. That's where the fresh food and healthier food is i've found.)
  
• Making a healthy choice when eating out.(I look up the menu online before I go somewhere. Most restaurants have the calories and fat listed. If you want an "all inclusive" list of restaurants go to Dotties Weight Loss Zone.)
  
• Passing on the goodies at group meetings.(I bring something to a meeting that I know I can eat and share without feeling guilty about eating it.)
  
• Taking one trip to a buffet instead of two or more.(I try to avoid buffets, but if I do go to one, I always start with a large salad. I find this gets me full faster and I tend to eat a smaller portion of other foods.)
  
• Eating until you're satisfied rather than stuffed. (I weigh my foods or pre-package them in zip locks so I know exactly how much i'm putting into my body. Also, wait 20 minutes before getting seconds or adding something else. You'll be surprised at the loss of hunger after that amount of time.)
  
• Limiting treats to once or twice a week rather than daily.(Look for low fat, sugar free options as well. I agree on this one!)
  

The second point that stood out in this chapter was the question "Why?". Why do I desire to change my ways and loose weight? I had to think about it for a moment. Of course, I want to wear cute clothes and feel more comfortable in my skin. But in all honesty, I want to do this because this lifestyle has been controlling me for too long. It has become a sinful way of living in my opinion and I don't want it any more. I want to live my life freely in Jesus and this is the area that I need to work on. That is why!

Over the next 65 days, I desire to loose weight, grow in my personal relationship with Christ and develop healthier eating and exercise habits. What about you?

I Failed

Take a look at the date of this post. Now check out the date of my very first post. look at the year....yep, it's been over a year and I failed. I just re-read the very first post of this blog and thought to myself, how the heck did I let myself 'fall off the bandwagon' again! I should be so upset and frustrated (which I kind of am) but the thing I am proud of right now is that I can answer that question. I can actually answer why I have failed over and over and over again at loosing weight and changing my eating and exercise habits.

I have been, for the past 12 years, trying to fight this gluttony battle on my own. Yes, I've had my family encourage me and friends do their best to support me, but it's not their problem so at times their accountability wavers. The only way I can live a healthy life is with the help of Jesus.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached a message that many would view as uncomfortable. (I did) But it's necessary. The series topic is "Hidden Desires". The sermon was called "Secret Shame". You can only guess that my mind went to my eating habits. That is my secret shame. Pastor Chilly made a comment, "To have a healthy ministry, I must have a healthy life." That hit me hard. I work in ministry, yet I don't have a healthy personal life when it comes to diet and exercise. I want to though.

What am I doing about it. (notice I didn't say 'going to do' about it) Yep! I already started on April 26, 2011. I have joined a gym, signed up (and paid extra) for a kick butt class 2x per week and am counting my calories. But what got me super excited is i've joined a ladies small group at my new church home. They are forgiving, understanding and honest. I have, in small ways, mentioned my desire to loose weight and exercise and I think I have found a group of ladies who will be an encouragement to me as I journey through this.

Then to top all of that, I came across a Candace Cameron Bure's facebook page for "Reshaping it All". It looks so good! Then I read that they are doing a 65 day challenge. From a Christian Perspective!!!!! That's where Jesus comes in! Only HE can change the way i'm living my life. So I may have failed over and over again, but with Jesus I WON'T FAIL!

I'm looking forward to this 65 day journey. I encourage you to join me if you'd like and pray for me as I become the woman God has called me to be.

Getting into a Rhythm

I am starting to feel the rhythm of the eating well. Note that I didn't just say "eating", we all know that too well i'm sure. What I mean is that I'm constantly looking for good recipes on line or in magazines and filing them away for the near future. Every Sunday, I pull them out and decide what my meals will be for the week. This helps so much. I try to use what is already in my cupboard or fridge. (this saves money and time) But if I have to run to the store for a couple of things, no big deal. (just make sure you don't go to the grocery store hungry! Trust me, you'll buy things you shouldn't) Also, if there are things that you can make that are good to freeze or store for left overs, do it! Sometimes I'll make something for dinner and have the left overs for lunch the next day.

Tracking what I eat each day is still something that I do and will probably always do since I see how much it is helping. I weighed in at Weight Watchers tonight and lost 2.6 pounds. I'm at a total of 9 pounds in 3 weeks. I'm very excited! But I know what looms in the future...exercise. I'm really skimping on that right now and I know that I will get to a point where I have to exercise. That is my biggest problem. Doing it. Putting on the tennis shoes and just walking down to the basement to start. I am going to exercise when I wake up in the morning. (I'll let you know how that goes).

TV Munchies vs. TV Crunches

This week has been a stronger week for me. I have tracked my eating every day and I know that it is bringing to light how much I ate just 3 weeks ago! I HIGHLY recommend writing down everything you eat each day. Do it before the end of the day too because by then you could have downed a lot of stuff that adds up and you may not even know it!

The one thing that I still haven't done well with is exercise. I know, I know, I have a tv and dvd player now that is dedicated to my exercise videos. It's getting fat just sitting there...So I blew up my exercise ball and brought it into my bedroom where my tv is. I have decided that this upcoming week, instead of munching on food while I watch tv, I will do crunches on my ball during the advertisements. So, the ball is sitting, waiting by the side of my bed for me to use it. I will start tonight. I have to or I never will. Plus the Winter Olympics start tonight so it's a good way to watch them. Maybe those extremely talented athletes will motivate me:)

Going Public

I'm sick and tired of it. It consumes my thoughts, my actions, my reactions. It controls me. When I think I found my victory in the day or even the moment, it throws a cheap shot my way and I cower and give in.

IT is my weight.
I haven't always been this heavy. Growing up, I was a very active child who ate very healthy thanks to my parents. As I got a little older, I gained a little weight and by 10th grade I was a size 12. But for my 5'8'', large bone build, it was a good size and weight "according to the doctor". All of my friends were shorter and weighed less than me. I never once thought I was thin. Today, looking at those high school pictures, i'd give anything to look that way again. It was in college where I let myself go. If you went to college then you know.......the college cafeteria. I never knew before that time that you could get "all you could eat" in the meal plan or get "all you can drink" from the soda machines. It was fun and I was in control. Or so I thought.

Now, I am 31 years old, single, and very unhappy on the inside. My friends and family would probably be shocked to hear those previous words I just typed. "unhappy on the inside". I have heard them describe me as a "funny, loving, caring, hard-working person". I would agree, but because of my weight I rarely feel "confidant, secure, at peace" on the inside. What do you do when someone wants to take a group picture? I'm a little taller, so I say that I should stand in the back(to hide my body), stick my neck out like a turtle so my fat doesn't show (as much) and smile big. I have tried EVERYTHING. Weight Watchers, Medical Weight Loss Clinic, Grapefruit diet, Cabbage soup diet, eat less diet, prescription drugs for weight loss. Some of those things worked..for only a period of time. Then I'd go back to my bad habits and let my emotions eat.

At this point, you are probably asking yourself, why the heck am I still reading this depressing woman's story? I would be asking myself that too. But here's what I've decided to do. I need you're help though. I have decided to be completely 100% honest on this blog about my daily struggles and victories as I journey through my next year. My goal is to loose weight. I can't say how much because I want to do it right this time. I know I need to loose a lot. So here's the deal. I joined Weight Watchers 1 week ago, last Monday. I followed the plan 2 days out of the 7 day week. That really sucks, right? Tonight as I was sitting in bed watching t.v., I said to myself "this is it". If i'm going to change, i'm going to change! I'm going to exercise and eat right. I will be posting recipes that are good for weight loss and don't taste like cardboard. Try them and let me know what you think. I'll let you know what kind of exercising i'm doing. Give me your comments, ideas and help keep me accountable. In turn, I will do the same.
Tomorrow starts the new me. New attitude, new initiative, new focus. Do you need that? Start with me!
The thing is, when I push the "publish" button..this is it. It's for good and in "cyber space" forever. I can't take it back. Don't let me. I'm going public. I want the weight to be OVER!

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